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What is better in a divorce-mediation or litigation?

That depends on how you want to handle your divorce, and what the outstanding issues are. In addition to that, don’t forget that you can always negotiate your matter as well. There is often confusion surrounding the different approaches to a divorce.  Here are some key points on each approach that you should consider either before you consult with an attorney, or during your consultation.

  1. Mediation-Mediation is a consensual process by which a neutral third party works with both parties to reach and equitable mutual agreement. If you are participating in mediation, you should have your own review counsel as well. While your individual attorney will likely not attend the mediation sessions, he or she should review the potential final agreement to make sure that you are clear on such, and that you truly believe that it is equitable and in the best interest of your children, as applicable.  In Connecticut, your attorney should be a certified mediator.
  2. Negotiation-Negotiating is a technique that attorneys will use when two parties are trying to reach an amicable mutual agreement, but do not yet agree. Usually, if both parties have retained counsel, the attorneys will discuss the issues and, while still advocating for what their individual clients want, will try to see if there is a middle ground.  The judicial system also allows for various pre-trial, or settlement conference, options to facilitate this process.  If you do try negotiating, you can always still litigate if you cannot reach an agreement, but of course the hope would be that you are able to resolve the matter prior to a trial.
  3. Litigation-Litigation generally means litigating, or, bringing outstanding matters to a court. While litigation is usually the most time consuming, and most expensive, some clients feel that it is the best way for them to be heard. Other times, if one party, or one attorney on the matter, is un-willing to negotiate, then there may not be any other options but to hear the matter in court. Litigation can take many types of forms, but often includes financial discovery requests, interrogatories, depositions and/or motion practice.

It is important to understand the different ways to resolve your divorce and that you have an open and honest discussion about such with your attorney.  Attorney Shore has been a certified mediator since 2008 and Wolf & Shore Law Group approaches each dissolution matter in the way that our clients want. We will discuss with you pros and cons of mediation, negotiation and litigation in your particular case and allow you to make the decision as to how to proceed.  Ever Argue with a Woman? Give it a try. Call 203.745.3151 or e-mail us at

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