Your Attorney Is Not Your Hype Person
When you hire a family law attorney, you want someone in your corner. Someone who will advocate for you, protect your interests, and help you navigate what may be one of the most difficult periods of your life.
But there is an important distinction between being in your corner and simply agreeing with everything you say. At Wolf & Shore Law Group, your attorney is your advocate. Your attorney is not your hype person. And sometimes, being a good attorney means telling you something you really, really don’t want to hear.
We Tell You the Raw Truth
One of our core values at Wolf & Shore is “Truth Bombs Only. Open and honest advice. No bullsh*t.” We mean it. Family law cases are emotional. Whether you’re dealing with a divorce, custody dispute, child support issue, or post-judgment matter, it’s completely understandable to feel angry, frustrated, hurt, or convinced that something simply isn’t fair. You may start your matter off absolutely certain that the court is going to see things exactly the way you do. Sometimes, we agree. And sometimes, we’re going to tell you that the law doesn’t work the way you think it does. That’s not because we aren’t on your side. It’s because we are.
Our job is not to tell you what you want to hear. Our job is to give you sound legal advice based upon the law, the facts of your case, our experience, and a realistic assessment of what may happen in court.
Validation and Legal Advice Aren’t the Same Thing
Your friends and family love you. They’re supposed to support you.
They may tell you:
- “That’s ridiculous!”*
- “There’s no way a judge would allow that.”*
- “You should fight this all the way.”*
- “Don’t give them anything.”*
They’re your hype people. And sometimes, you need those people. But they probably aren’t Connecticut family law attorneys. Your attorney has a different job. We have to separate the emotional issues from the legally significant ones. We have to tell you when something that feels incredibly important to you may not carry the same weight in a courtroom. We have to tell you when the cost of fighting over an issue may exceed its value. And we have to tell you when your position, or your expectations, may not be realistic. That can be frustrating to hear. It can also save you significant time, money, stress, and disappointment.
Strategy Is About More Than “Winning”
Family law isn’t always about winning and losing. Good legal strategy means looking at the entire picture. What are your priorities? What does the law say? What evidence do we have? What can we prove? What is the other side likely to argue? What are the risks of going to trial? What are the benefits of going to trial? And what outcome can realistically be achieved?
Sometimes the best strategy is to fight.
Sometimes it’s to negotiate.
Sometimes it’s to compromise on one issue so that you can focus your resources on another issue that matters more.
And sometimes our advice may be: Let this one go.
That doesn’t mean we’re unwilling to advocate for you. It means we’re looking at your case strategically instead of emotionally.
We Can’t Promise You an Outcome
If an attorney guarantees that you’re going to win, be cautious. Judges are human beings. Witnesses can be unpredictable. Evidence may develop differently than anticipated. The opposing party may take an unexpected position. And two reasonable people can look at the same set of facts and reach different conclusions.
We can explain the law. We can discuss likely outcomes based on our experience. We can identify strengths and weaknesses. We can prepare thoroughly and advocate aggressively. But we cannot (and will not) promise you exactly what a judge will do. Being realistic with you from the beginning allows you to make informed decisions about your case.
Sometimes You’re Part of the Problem
Here’s a truth bomb that can be especially difficult to hear. Sometimes, our own client is contributing to the problem. Maybe you’re sending unnecessary texts to your ex. Maybe you’re responding to every provocation. Maybe you’re involving your children in adult issues. Maybe you’re taking a position that isn’t supported by the Court Orders. Or maybe the thing you’re determined to fight over simply isn’t worth the battle. A good attorney won’t ignore that because it’s uncomfortable to say.
If something you’re doing could hurt your case, we’re going to tell you. We would much rather have an uncomfortable conversation with you in private than have a judge have a much more uncomfortable conversation with you in a courtroom.
“We Give you Suggestions. You Make the Decisions”-Dennis Morton
If you’ve been in our conference room, you may have seen that sign when you walk in. We standby that concept. This is your life, not ours. Ultimately, your case belongs to you. Our role is to explain your options, discuss the potential consequences or benefits, develop a strategy, and give you the information you need to make educated decisions.
Sometimes our advice will be exactly what you hoped to hear.
Sometimes it won’t be.
But either way, it will be honest.
Because when you’re making decisions that can affect your finances, your children, and your future, you don’t need someone sitting next to you saying, “YES! You’re absolutely right!”
You need someone willing to say: “Here’s what the law says. Here’s what I think. Here’s the risk. And here’s what I recommend.” That’s not being unsupportive. That’s doing our job. We’ve had some clients over the years who don’t like that approach, and that’s okay. If that’s how you feel, we’re just not the firm for you. But we’ve had a lot more clients who have been more than appreciative that they heard the hard truth from us, because they were much more prepared when they needed to be.
At Wolf & Shore Law Group, we’ll advocate for you, strategize with you, and help you navigate the difficult decisions that come with family law matters. We’ll be in your corner. But we’ll leave the hyping to your friends.
At Wolf & Shore Law Group, we understand that family law matters are difficult. We’re here to make it as easy as possible and ensure you are prepared. If you want the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, we might be the firm for you. We take the time to listen, explain your legal options, and help you determine the best course of action for you and your family. Contact us today at 203.745.3151 or info@wolfandshorelawgroup.com. Ever Argue with a Woman?
