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Dear Attorneys,

I was just served with divorce papers and am an emotional wreck. I spoke with my attorney and she told me to relax and that the beginning of the divorce process is a waiting period. Can I change that? I want everything done now and I want to know exactly what my husband is asking for. Can I demand that his attorney tell us immediately?


Anxious Annie

Dear Annie,

We completely understand that. The dissolution process can be incredibly taxing, and anxiety ridden.  However, that is at least partially why you hire an attorney. Having an attorney during your divorce allows you to step back and take some of the emotion out of it. Let your attorney fight your battles for you.  That said, the beginning of the divorce process can often be slow. Once the initial pleadings are filed, there is usually a lull in activity while both parties gather their financial information. You may be corresponding with your attorney’s office during this time to work on your financial affidavit, explain what you are seeking, and provide discovery documents.  Unfortunately, no, you cannot require your spouse to tell you what he wants on your timeline. It simply does not work like that. Your attorney can tell his attorney that you want to make this as amicable as possible, and to move it along quickly, but the saying “it takes two to tango” is applicable here as the divorce can always go as fast, and as smooth, as both parties allow it to.  If you have any “pain points” about the process, speak with your attorney and she will likely ease your concerns.  Good luck!

Wolf & Shore Law Group is here to help you make your family law matters easier, not harder.  We are realistic and direct with our clients. We encourage potential clients to seek out a firm where they will feel comfortable and confident. Ever argue with a woman? Let Wolf & Shore Law Group go to work for you. Call us at 203.745.3151 or email us at

Very Truly Yours,

Wolf & Shore Law Group

*The situations represented in our Dear Attorneys column are entirely fictional and any resemblance to a specific case is unintentional. We cannot, and will not, offer legal advice to anyone who is not a client. However, if you do have questions or concerns, you should contact an attorney at your convenience.

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