You’re not together with your ex for a reason. That’s not the issue.
The real problem in most high-conflict co-parenting situations isn’t dislike—it’s lack of respect. Respect for schedules. Respect for agreements. Respect for the fact that parenting decisions don’t belong to one person anymore.
When parents stop respecting those boundaries, they start breaking rules, changing plans unilaterally, and justifying bad behavior because they’re hurt or angry. And that’s when courts step in.
You don’t have to like your co-parent.
You do have to act like a teammate.
Rule #1: Kids’ Activities Belong to the Child — Not a Parent
Sports, practices, games, tournaments, and activities don’t belong to mom or dad. They belong to the child.
That means:
- Activities should be planned in advance
- Schedules should be shared
- Both parents should be able to attend when appropriate
Absent a safety concern or a court-ordered restriction, both parents should support their child’s interests. Using activities as leverage—or scheduling them to exclude the other parent—is one of the fastest ways to create conflict and raise red flags in court.
Rule #2: Kids’ Social Lives Matter
Friends, playdates, and social time are part of a child’s real life—and co-parenting means coordinating that life.
In many families, there’s a “default parent” who handles scheduling. If that’s you, it’s critical to share information, not hoard it. That includes contact details, plans, and logistics.
When you coordinate instead of control, you show both your child and the court that you’re putting your child first.
Rule #3: Parenting Time Doesn’t Mean Being Glued to Your Child
Co-parenting also means allowing the other parent to live a normal adult life.
Work events, family obligations, time with friends, or downtime are not violations of parenting time. Parenting doesn’t require constant supervision or isolation. If you were still together, you wouldn’t be attached at the hip to your child 24/7—and separation doesn’t change that.
Using children as leverage to control the other parent’s personal life is a quick way to damage trust and escalate conflict.
Rule #4: Handle Holidays Like a Champion
Holidays are predictable stress points, which is why most custody agreements address them directly.
Professionals don’t fight about holidays every year.
They plan ahead.
They follow the agreement.
They share time when appropriate.
Championship-level co-parenting means thinking long-term, not trying to “win” a single holiday at the expense of future cooperation.
Rule #5: Communication Isn’t Optional
This is where most co-parenting relationships break down.
Signing kids up for activities without discussion.
Announcing decisions instead of coordinating them.
Assuming instead of confirming.
Absent a court order saying otherwise, major decisions should be discussed and agreed upon, not dropped like a press release. Proactive communication reduces conflict, protects custody positions, and creates stability for children.
The Game-Winning Strategy
When parents handle co-parenting proactively:
- Conflict decreases
- Kids feel safer and more secure
- Courts see cooperation instead of chaos
This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being intentional. The parents who succeed in custody situations are the ones who stop playing defense against their ex and start playing offense for their child.
That’s what it means to approach co-parenting like a pro.
If you’re struggling in a co-parenting relationship and you’re not sure how to reset it without making things worse, getting legal guidance early can make all the difference.
