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Dear Attorneys,


I’m currently going through mediation with my spouse, but I feel like it’s just not working. The mediator is nice, and seems knowledgeable, but my spouse and I are just too far apart. I feel like I need someone to advocate for me. What do I do?



Asking for an Advocate

Dear Asking,


Mediation is not for everyone. For many couples, it is a workable solution to avoiding litigation. However, if one or both people is too focused on what he or she wants, then it is almost impossible to mediate a situation. If you feel as though you need an advocate, it may be because you feel as though your spouse is not hearing what you have to say.  While a mediator can redirect a conversation to help improve communication, he or she must still remain a neutral third-party and thus, cannot advocate on your behalf. You may want to consider going to your next session and expressing your concerns with both your spouse and the mediator. Perhaps if your spouse hears you say that you are considering litigation, he or she will try harder to mediate.  Also, if the mediator knows your concerns, he or she may suggest that you both go to “review counsel” now to get an opinion as to the progression of your matter.


Wolf & Shore Law Group is here to help you make your family law matters easier, not harder.  We are realistic and direct with our clients. We encourage potential clients to seek out a firm where they will feel comfortable and confident. Ever argue with a woman? Let Wolf & Shore Law Group go to work for you. Call us at 203.745.3151 or email us at


Very Truly Yours,

Wolf & Shore Law Group


*The situations represented in our Dear Attorneys column are entirely fictional and any resemblance to a specific case is unintentional. We cannot, and will not, offer legal advice to anyone who is not a client. However, if you do have questions or concerns, you should contact an attorney at your convenience.

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