If you haven’t heard of the “Let Them Theory,” you can check out the book by Mel Robbins, which is a self-proclaimed life-changing tool. This theory has created such a phenomenon because it is truly applicable to almost any area of your life. The sense of calm when you finally reach a point where you can “let them,” is sure to prove useful as you navigate your divorce, and the new chapter you begin after it.
Divorce is one of the most emotionally charged experiences a person can go through. It often brings out the worst in people—demands, control, and emotional manipulation can run high. If you find yourself dealing with a soon-to-be-ex spouse who is overly demanding or trying to control the situation, Mel Robbins’ “Let Them Theory” might be a mindset shift that can help you navigate the process with more peace and clarity.
What Is the “Let Them Theory”?
The concept is simple: when people act in a way that is frustrating or disappointing, instead of reacting with stress or resistance, you simply let them. Let them show their true colors. Let them behave how they choose. Let them make their choices—because ultimately, their actions say more about them than they do about you.
This does not mean you allow someone to mistreat or take advantage of you. Instead, it means recognizing that you cannot control another person’s behavior, only your response to it.
Applying “Let Them” to Divorce
Divorce can be an emotionally turbulent time, and often, one spouse may try to exert control over the other. Here are some ways to apply the “Let Them Theory” in different divorce-related situations:
- Your ex is making unreasonable demands. Whether it’s excessive requests for alimony, unrealistic custody expectations, or dragging out negotiations, recognize that their behavior is a reflection of them. Instead of engaging in unnecessary conflict, let them make their demands, but respond strategically through legal channels, not emotionally.
- They are speaking negatively about you. Divorce can bring out resentment, leading some exes to badmouth their former spouse. Rather than getting pulled into the negativity, let them talk. You cannot control what they say, but you can control your own dignity and how you carry yourself.
- They are trying to control co-parenting. Some parents attempt to micromanage everything post-divorce. If your ex insists on dictating every aspect of your shared parenting, recognize that you don’t have to match their energy. Let them think they are in control while you focus on being the best parent you can be.
- They refuse to cooperate. If your ex is being difficult just for the sake of it, let them. Don’t let their lack of cooperation derail your progress—stick to your legal strategy and let the process unfold as it should.
The Power of Letting Go
By embracing the “Let Them Theory,” you shift the focus from controlling an uncontrollable person to managing your own reactions. This can be incredibly freeing in a divorce, as well as many other life situations. It helps prevent unnecessary arguments, reduces stress, and allows you to move forward with a clear mind. More importantly, it can help you prioritize your well-being and that of any children involved.
At Wolf & Shore Law Group, we understand that divorce is tough, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Our team is here to help you navigate the legal process with confidence, ensuring you stay focused on what truly matters—your future. Ever Argue with a Woman? Contact us at 203.745.3151 or info@wolfandshorelaw.com.
