Dear Attorneys,
My spouse and I have filed for divorce, but we’re still living in the same house because neither of us can afford to move out yet. Things have gotten really bad. We argue constantly, the police have been called more than once, and someone suggested getting a temporary restraining order. Is that the right solution?
– Still Under the Same Roof
Dear Still Under the Same Roof,
Unfortunately, your situation is more common than you might think. Many divorcing couples continue living together while the divorce is pending because of financial concerns, children, or uncertainty about who should leave the marital home. When emotions are running high, however, sharing a home can quickly become unsafe. Or at the very least, incredibly stressful.
A temporary restraining order (often called a TRO) can be an important legal tool in the right circumstances, but it should never be viewed as a strategy to “win” a divorce or force someone out of the house. It is designed to protect people who have been subjected to family violence, a continuous threat of present physical pain or physical injury, stalking, or a pattern of coercive control.
There are both advantages and disadvantages to seeking a TRO.
Potential Benefits:
- It can provide immediate court-ordered protection if someone is genuinely in danger.
- The court may order one spouse to vacate the family home.
- It can prohibit contact, harassment, intimidation, or other specific conduct.
- It can provide temporary protections for children when appropriate.
Potential Drawbacks:
- A TRO is a serious legal proceeding, not simply another step in a divorce.
- It often increases conflict between the parties, at least initially.
- If the court ultimately determines the legal standard was not met, the requested relief may be denied.
- Allegations made in a restraining order application can affect the tone and progression of the divorce case, making settlement more difficult.
One point cannot be overstated: A temporary restraining order is not a suggestion—it is a court order. Once served, every provision must be followed exactly. In Connecticut, violating a restraining order is a criminal offense. Depending on the circumstances, a violation can result in an arrest and prosecution for Criminal Violation of a Restraining Order, which is a felony. Even conduct that may seem minor—such as sending a text message, returning to the home when such is prohibited, or asking a third party to communicate on your behalf—can lead to criminal consequences if it violates the Court’s order.
If the police are being called repeatedly, that’s often a sign that the current living arrangement is no longer sustainable. Before the situation escalates further, it may be worth discussing all available options with your attorney. In some cases, a negotiated agreement for one party to temporarily move out, or asking the family court for temporary financial or custody orders, may resolve the immediate conflict without the need for a restraining order. In other situations, a TRO may be the safest and most appropriate course of action.
Every family’s circumstances are different. The key is to make decisions based on safety and the law, rather than emotion or frustration. If you believe you or your children are in immediate danger, contact law enforcement right away and speak with an experienced family law attorney about your legal options. If you need assistance navigating your best course of action during this difficult time, call Wolf & Shore Law Group at 203.745.3151 to schedule a virtual consultation today. Ever Argue with a Woman?
Very Truly Yours,
Wolf & Shore Law Group
*The situations represented in our Dear Attorneys column are entirely fictional and any resemblance to a specific case is unintentional. We cannot, and will not, offer legal advice to anyone who is not a client. However, if you do have questions or concerns, you should contact an attorney at your convenience.
